Anna Mania IV

Now, that the ministers are back home licking their wounds and sniffing for escape routes, let me temporarily relax in the warm glow of Anna's victory. I shall do so by turning on the heater, and recalling some of the more splendid slogans that I heard over the past week:

We begin with number three on my list:

Woh sarkar bikau hai, Kapil Sibal jiska tau hai.

Ho Ho Ho. Serves bushy eyebrows right. Where is he by the way? Slunk away for a threading or something?

Coming up next, a fair question that was asked of the forty year old "youth leader" by the rallying IT workers on their march from the India Gate to the Ramlila ground:

Desh ka yuva yahan hai, Rahul Gandhi kahan hai?

He was, of course, following close in the heels of some of the late dysfunctional Mughal emperors, who, in times of strife in N. India, say a visit from an unfriendly neighbor immediately went on official tours to the Deccan. Rahul baba was shaking hands with Chirajeevi in Hyderabad.

Also, coming in second, a fair assessment of Rahul baba's slick exit:

Desh ka yuva jaag gaya, Rahul Gandhi bhaag gaya.

he he he. Calling Rahul a youth leader at 40 reminds me always of that movie, The Forty Year Old Virgin. Maybe that is what his biography will be called, The Forty Year Old Youth, or, I do prefer, How to grow old into a youth icon, or, Youth I Con, or, Youth icon at 40, or, simply, Baba at 40.

And, now, people, the number one, the numero uno, the one that makes my day, everyday, no matter what my equations say:

Woh sarkar nikkammi hai, Sonia jiski mummy hai.

Classic! The person who coined this deserves a Booker. Take Arundhati's away, in case you can't convince the judges.

Anna Mania III

Arundhati Roy recently wrote a fantastic piece, where she damned Anna's movement. She provided many, many reasons in brilliantly constructed language, why, She had rather not be Anna. Yes, she even titled her insightful piece

"I'd rather not be Anna".

Now, Anna could never write prose like that. He is, after all, a 7th pass villager. Ergo, Anna is not Arundhati Roy. By reflexivity, Arundhati is not Anna. Consequently, the question that Arundhati asks in her piece's title, is, but rhetorical. It is not whether she can, but doesn't, choose to be Anna.

She can't (be Anna).

I guess that pisses her off.

Anna Mania II

I know I am late. But at least its not never.

Aruina Roy (AR) and co have announced an alternative Lokpal bill. "Not only is this bill, stronger, better, it is also more acceptable to all of India's mummies." , said Roy at a press conference attended by several of her colleagues, Congress workers like Abhifake Manu Singhvi (AMS), six people (Ram, Rahim, Rohan, Roxanne, Ranjit and Ramaswamy) from Muzaffarnagar who had come to attend an anti-corruption rally, and a dog. We drop in during question hour.

R: Is this Ramlila ground?

AR: No. That is further down the road, this is the Jay Prakash Ground.

R: Oh, but madam is Khiran Bedi, no?

AMS: No, no, she is a much more committed, enlightened and erudite NGO. Hum sab aur Bharat ki mummy Smt. Suniye Gandhi ji madam has anointed her your representative in this fight against corruption.

R: Really, why she not fighting corruption with Anna ji.

AR: Because Anna is wrong? His bill is not good. It is undemocratic, and undercuts, unh unh undermines, the entire parliamentary process. He is a Dictator who is agains the principles of free-for-all market. Does not a common honest citizen like Sugar Pawar have a voice? I know he is almost lock-jawed, but he can nod, can he not?

R: Madam ji we are confuse. You want to fight corruption, yes?

VR: Of course.

R: Then fight with Anna ji. Oh, I understand, you people not watching TV recently. See fasting is on Ramlila ground, not here. Congress party get scared first, so they change ground. Come we go there now?

VR: I cannot be seen with Anna. That would ruin my appetite.

R: But, you say you fighting corruption. So is Anna ji. He is your and my leader. Let us go.

AMS: No, you don't understand Anna is wrong. He claims to be fighting corruption, but unconstitutionally. Also as our deeply embedded detective Mole-ish Tiwari recently pointed out, Anna is himself corrupt. During the meeting of the joint drafting committee, he sat next to Karpin Sibal and got drenched from head to toe with Karpin's new aftershave Krption (from TATA-Mani combine: guaranteed to attract femme fatales like Roneko Chowdhury and Joyendin Natarajan).

R: Madam ji please, we are confuse. You fighting corruption. Anna ji fighting corruption. He is our leader. So, why you not going there. Are you with corrupt congress?

VR: No! I mean Yes. That is I am The Civil Society according to Bharat Mummy Suniye Gandhi ji.

R: Bharat Mummy?

AR: Security, AMS! please remove these gentleman, they aggravate me. Thrash them while you are at it. That will also free up space for my NAC (National Council) friends who have come over from the IIC. Is lunch served?

Anna Mania 1

Delhi's first mummy and son duo have finally come out with statements on Anna's fast. "We are firmly behind Anna ji and his fast against corruption. Almost literally.", said Shiela aunty. "Sandeep and his friends are making sure that backdoor supply chains remain unbroken and provided. Essentials such as medicines, water, volunteers, slogans, and even juicy tidbits about that brat Manish, Jayanti ji and Kapil ji." When asked, Sandeep too agreed that Anna is the best thing that happened to India and the Dixits. "I was really getting tired of convincing all the Uncle jis that mummy was not corrupt. She hardly made any money. I mean look at Sharad uncle, now that is substance!", he concluded admiringly. Recovering from his momentary monetary reverie, h continued, "Now with Anna and his cohorts defying Kapil and Chidamb uncles, the media's and everybody's focus has turned away from CAG and its absolutely wrong conclusions, me and mummy finally have temporarily relief.". "Oh, the CAG were not even close about the amounts.", giggled the two uncontrollably when asked to clarify which conclusions the CAG erred upon.

What is the cost of getting rid of corruption?

Ek Anna. (I hope.)

For the Hindi- and/or historically- challenged: Sixteen anna makes one Indian Rupee.

Battle begins 16 August.