Ellipticity

Yes, I know, I don't post that often. Not because of paucity of stuff, but mostly because integrals, elliptic ones at that, are ruining my life. However, just to prove that my imaginative faculty has not been dulled by the monotonous frequency at which nasty integrals rear their heads, I present to you a bawdy joke, hot off my oiled head.

A nubile young thing walks up to the boy manning the drug store and asks for some Vaseline. The boy hoping to show that his caring and sensitive side matched the NYT's curvacious ones, enquires, "Oh, you poor dear, do you have split lips?"

"No, and that is the bloody problem", snaps the NYT.

It sounds much better in Hindi...
Drugstore cowboy: Kya aapke honth phat rahe hain?
NYT: Nahin, wohi to samsya hai!

Modern women have left us behind. And not close enough for us to make use of the opportunity.

I agree, the joke may sound elliptical to most not in the know. C'est la vie.

My Watch

When she took my hand, time was unnecessary. Now it is unknown.

She is dead.

No, I don't want to shock anybody. But death, though commonplace, mostly expected, sometimes even willed, never ceases to shock. Yes, it is true, my love at first sight died. It was too good to last. The signs had been there. Ever increasing scratches on her moonface. The oft skipped date. The unlit blotch at six o'clock. The discouraging holes in her dirty green strap. She was going South. And fast. But, it didn't seem to matter. Her beauty had moved from her gaze to her clasp. To the way she fit. Heck, she was still comfortable as hell. And that was the problem. For, just as familiarity breeds contempt, comfort creates carelessness. A careless hand struck a winding balustrade and ripped the pin out of her ticking heart. It was just as sudden a death as it was unimaginative. Unnecessary. She rests now in my drawer. Underneath a red tie.

So, er, what is a good watch to buy? Or, is it too soon?

Bah.