Bachchan's bovinity

MSC wrote a post chastising Amitabh Bachchan. His gripe is sour because the Bachchan's donated a lot of money to a temple when there are other more worthwhile causes, like saving dying children, or giving them to future penurious academics like yours truly. Anyway that post triggered a few neurons and caused me to turn in a few neat phrases relevant to the monetary activities of said superstar.

1. On why it doesn't really matter whether Bachchan saves a life or two: Life and death, but eternal nonsensical cylces. While the Divine, they are a relentless chainsaw.

2. On why Bachchan's donations make perfect pragmatic sense: If you are a cow, it is better to keep the butcher happy, than save a fellow bovine.

3. On what Bachchan may have thought: "I can run faster than a speeding bullet, thrash ten overgrown toughies, and all at the age of sixty. Yes, I have footage to prove my claim. These children can't get over polio. Sheesh. Darwin, where is thy sieve?"

4. On why Bachchan must be forgiven: Swaying at the giddy heights of six foot three, he is closer to the heavens, and small children appear like so many ants. "Which ones to save, which ones to smite, Oh Lord, why do you try me so." Confess; you all have poured molten wax on ants. At least Bachchan spared the wax (Madam Tussaud* may have required some).

5. What did I do today: Wandered amongst the sixties' hipster leftovers and their drunk followers on Midsummer Commons at the Strawberry Fair.

6.What I dreamt last night: About eating strawberries at this fair. There were none. I was so gutted that I ate too many waffles, so that I am really gutted now.

7. And in case you are wondering: No, I am not drunk on wine, but the Sun shone seldomly in Cambridge in the Summer of 06. It did today.

* If you are confused, don't be. Madame Tussaud put together a wax replica of Amitabh Bachchan.