Misty is missing!

Yesiree, Misty the neighbourhood Tarantula has escaped. Apparently some schmuck in my block of flats thinks a Tarantula is an appropriate pet to have. Hey, I don't care if you keep King Kong as a pet, but when dealing with such... er... fascinating pets, it is quintessential that you keep a keen eye on them, not just let them slip away for the weekend.

Now I don't mind spiders per se, at least as long as they are amenable to biting the dust when I fling a shoe at them. But, when the darn thing is as big as your palm and a missile would just raise his/her aggravation, I have to draw the line.

"Misty doesn't like cold and wet surroundings, so please be careful when stepping around in warm dry places, e.g., shoes or beds."

I guess the only way I will now have peace of mind is to open my windows and hose the place down.

"Misty can probably run faster than you, so please don't give chase after her."

That is all I need to hear. Not only is she big, she is fast. Why is it that amongst animals the bigger they get, the faster they become? I just get slower when I inflate. Also why would anyone want to give chase after a Tarantula? Does this person think we are out of our minds? "Oh look a Tarantula, lets catch it and stroke it." I think he/she is just trying to tell me gently that when Misty gives chase (after me), I should'nt bother to run. Just throw up my arms and pray to the Mystical One.