Deconstructing Indian fashion, MCD* style.

DELHI'S MOST glamorous designer hub -- MG 1 -- has been erased off the address book.

On Wednesday morning, bulldozers razed its facade, marking the end of a mall that did business to the tune of over Rs 15 crore a month.

The shocked bunch of designers rushed to the mall to clear out the merchandise from their stores. Expensive clothes, neatly hung, were shoved into huge cartons and even sacks. Truckers made a kill by charging a fortune.

... and hardly broke a sweat, considering the fact that the boxes labelled summer tops weighed less than two small handkerchieves.

Rohit Gandhi, who was on a business trip to Paris, had to rush back to Delhi. "It is just unbelievable," he said from Paris

He, however, suffered a nasty fall as he tried to rush in his extra long pantaloons made of pure suede held together with spider spun silk.

Vandini Sawhney, who ran an interior outlet, said: "The showroom has been targeted because it's a Page 3-type place -- the media never gets tired of talking about our glamorous lifestyle."

After which she expressed relief that she had already done her summer wardrobe shopping from Rina Dhaka's showroom the previous week, allowing her to look "simply stunning" while she protested against MCD's draconian deconstructionism.

Leena Singh of Ashima & Leena: "They ran the bulldozers not on the building, but on the creative people of India!"

However, despite gigantic pressures developed by the bulldozers, only a test-tube's worth of creativity was unearthed from MG1 mall, that too in the form of graffiti in the restroom on the third floor. Photographers did, nevertheless, manage to catch a glimpse of Leena Singh looking crushed underneath her creativity:

Designer Vijay Bhalla said the industry has been ill-treated. "The fashion industry has given a name to the country and is this what we get in return?"

Historians rejoiced in having finally found the man behind "Bharat**". "We always knew the problem of finding the person who gave birth to our country's name was a tough nut to crack, but we never thought it would take a bulldozer" was how noted historian Arjun Dev put it.

A desperate Suneet Varma says "MCD is targeting us because we are soft targets. There are so many other commercial buildings on the MG road... It's like an act of terrorism. I feel terrorised."

On hearing this O. B. Laden gratefully reduced the number of people on his "To terrorise" list. "Gosh, that list was becoming a tad long, what with the World's burgeoning population in spite of me and my chaps' best efforts" said a visibly relieved Laden.

DESIGNERS AT 2, MG Road performed a havan on Thursday for a divine reprieve after the Delhi high court refused their plea for a stay on the MCD demolitions at MG Road.

However, when last contacted the Trinity were unimpressed. "Distinctly pedestrian pants, and did you see that floral print? Hardly any creativity" smirked Brahma the Creator. "Preserve me from such plunging necklines" put in Vishnu in a neat turn of phrase, while Shiva, ever a man of few words, simply swore distruction on designers who just didn't "get" the whole leather thing.

MCD minions plans to raze the MG2 mall to the ground in accordance with orders from higher up. Watch this space.

*MCD: Municipal Corporation of Delhi.
**Bharat: India's ancient, original name.