Journalese 2: On the (black) board walk*

The newspaper reports that...

"... from next year, the board is introducing compulsory sex education from class VI onwards in all affiliated schools. The decision to introduce ‘‘adolescent education’’ has been prompted by a need to help students cope with growing up pains and puberty trauma. A substantial chunk of the curriculum will centre around sexual concerns like physical changes at puberty, attraction towards the opposite sex, sexually-transmitted diseases as well as myths and realities of diseases like AIDS."

Reminds me of my tenure in the eighth standard. We were introduced to the human reproductive system for the first time. Both the male and the female systems were described in detail in the textbook, along with clear (explicit?) and in-depth (ha ha) diagrams. We were taught how the ovaries produce the ova, it is collected by the fallopian tubes, it floats down several canal like structures (pardon me, my biology is a bit rusty now) etc.. The books then, however, cut straight to the male reproductive system. How the sperm is produced and where it goes and so on. Being the perceptive child that I was, I could not for the life of me figure out that if a child was only produced when ova met sperm, how the heck did they meet. You see, the text-book writing scientists, in order not to corrupt young minds, had forgotten to mention procreation. Our teacher, being the strict follower of the syllabus that she was, decided to leave things as they were. But, I just couldn't understand how Mr. Sperm met Ms. Ova. The only clue I had was courtsey the well-drawn pictures of the individual reproductive systems. There shapes seemed oddly compatible. Accommodating. Receptive. "Singularity", as Holmes mentions. "is almost invariably a clue".

"But, does this mean that exhibit M went into exhibit F? Nah, that is just plain yucky!"

I just refused to believe it, but Holmes did also say that "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth". In my case, it seemed that whatever remained no matter how unsavory (at least to that innocent mind), must be the truth.

As you may see, I have always been very logical.

The newspaper further says that...

"... the CBSE board has said that there will be no examination or grading on the subject of sex education. ‘‘We realise the need to equip kids today with the fundamental knowledge about issues related to puberty and growing up. But we also feel we should not overburden them by subjecting them to write exams on it,’’ CBSE’s director (academics) G Balasubramaniam told TOI."

I don't know about you, but this is plain funny. I bet that this is one exam which, at least half the school-going children, wouldn't mind taking. You know which half's response I am confident about. Also, they would probably have clamoured for a practical examination to aid learning.

*The classic song 'Under the boardwalk' seems appropriate here.